Saturday, January 16, 2010

Sometimes while reading online forums, emails, blogs, comments here, or even talking to Lisa and friends, I get reminded that I am not the "normal" husband or guy. At times it makes me laugh, and at others makes me wonder what other men really do at home.

A *huge* amount of comments I get are about sports. I've never watched a game of anything in my life, it's simply never interested me. This always gets reactions, especially from guys. It's either that dog head cocked sideways look, or comments like "what kind of man are you". I've tried watching football, and frankly, never got the game or the big interest in it. You wanna throw me a ball and then knock me on my ass to get it back? Here, I'll save ya the trouble...handing back. It's been the same with baseball. YOU hit a ball with a stick as hard as you can and expect ME to go chase it? I don't think so. Golf by far, to me, is the worst of the worst. You take a little crooked stick, hit a tiny ball as hard as you can, then walk after it?? Ummm....we have a name for that, it's called FETCH. You find your little ball! yay! You win! Ok wait..what? You're going to hit it again? WTH!?! I'll never get it.

I know I've made quite a few posts in the last year about things I have done around the house since I have been layed off, but I've always done things around here. Sure, it was never this much since, of course, I was working 40 hours a week, but I've always helped. There is just no reason NOT to. Even with just the two of us now, dishes and laundry can pile up, things still need dusted and the sweeper still needs ran. Sharing the housework leaves more leisure time for both of us, and now with me being home and Lisa working, I do as much as possible so she can come home and relax. She did the same thing when I was working and she was able to stay home, so there's no reason that I can't return the favor. I like helping, and I like keeping busy. Now that it's winter and I am stuck inside, I still do my best to keep busy.

For a very short time, in my early 20's, I was more of the "typical guy" as most see it, but it didn't last and it wasn't me. I went out drinking or to the strip clubs with friends, but that got repetive and boring fast. I realized that the time and money could be spent on better things. Rather than spend that $50 at the bar, I could put it towards a new rifle scope. Rather than get in at 3am and sleep till noon. I could go to bed early and be on the lake with dad at 5am. Guys I knew would take their vacation at beaches, or at races, or at a resort somewhere, while I spent a week at a friends cabin on 300 acres 9 miles from the nearest town, spending my time walking around or shooting the .22's all day. They came home with sunburns,hangovers, and empty pockets while I came home with lifelong memories of seeing black bears, paper targets I could show off, and a great sense of relaxation that I couldn't get anywhere else.

With me being so different than most men, its not surprising that I have very few guy friends. Sure, some are work buddies, some are old hunting buddies, and some are music oriented friends, but NONE of them share my interest in homesteading, gardening, self sufficiency, or cooking...not a one. The only friend I have who shares most of my interests is Tammie, who I met through the local homesteading group she runs. Yea...a woman and not a guy. While guys wanna talk about the latest football game, Tammie is more than happy to spend 2 hours talking about heirloom vegetables or being self sufficient.

I guess I'll never fit in with most guys, and I'm fine with that. I don't want to waste 3 hours of my day yelling at guys on tv throwing around a ball. I'd rather spend my time learning something, or taking on new challenges. I guess in 10 years when some other guy can spew off figures from super bowl 2010, I can talk about how I taught myself to tan hides and can chicken soup. lol


Happy Days said...

I commend you on doing the housework. I think it is only fair, like you said, that the spouse not working do the household duties. Sports isn't for everyone, that's for sure. Your "sport" going hunting and cooking! some of the greatest chefs are MEN!!!...debbie

Jen said...

I totally dig you Dawgus. I think its great that you help out at home and are not the lazy kind. Lisa is a lucky woman. I can sympathize with you on the friend issue. I have one good friend of mine, besides my new online homesteading friends, that understands what Im trying to do. You're doing great! ~jen

Jim said...

Whoop whoop whoop, I applaud you, myself, 6'4" 300# and father of 5, 20 yr retired vet of US Amry as an 18 Bravo and married to same bride for 36 yrs and trust me on this, it makes no difference 10 yrs from now who ran what or can hit what. what will matter is that you can provide for your family on skills that promote family unity and survival of the unit. My bride is a wonderful woman, she should be awarded the CMH being married to me ( since some days I can't even stand to be around my own self)but God love her she can't cook, can, bake or any other kitchen duties other than help with dishes, not because she won't its just she doesn't have the born skills I guess, but she can hook her own worms, gut her own deer and loves shooting or doing just about anything with me as long as we are together so I roll up my sleeves, bang those pots and pans and whip up for my bride and our children and their families some damn good eating memories that they will recall 10 years from now. By the way now that I have run wild on your dime, keep up the good work with this blog and keep sharing and growing as a person.

Jordan said...

Hey - I started on the homesteading journey about a year ago and am still making newby mistakes (learning from every one though). I'm a divorced 40-something woman, and I can say from the other side of the trenches that it's RARE to find a guy that's interested in this lifestyle. So rare, that I'm beginning to get used to the idea that I might have to do this alone.

PJ said...

Here, here! I am absolutely sick to death of people assuming that just because I have a Y chromosome I HAVE to waste my time obsessing over sports I don't play and rooting for teams I have no affiliation with other the shared geography.

You are not alone!

Kevin and Beth said...

You'll have to meet my husband sometime, hopefully at the seed swap. He won't even let our tv be turned to football (the only exception is when my dad is over and then he sits and talks with the women folk). He's everything farming and hunting and planting. It's so bad that even this fall when his son played in the band at football games we didn't even go and watch the band at halftime.

We did go and see him march in a couple of parades and at the fair plus we went to his track meets all spring, there is no throwing or kicking involved thankfully.

Another thing...I tried and tried to get in touch with you before Christmas for the gifts for your sponsored family. I guess you didn't get my emails for some reason. I felt sooooo bad. From your blog it looked like things went well. I felt great relief when I saw that you were able to get a lot of things. I had some gift cards and was going to get some clothes but didn't know what you already had. I was lost. Next time I'll get a phone number, my computer can be unreliable.


Anonymous said...

I am a 38 yr old male who shares many of the same views as you do and yes I do feel like an outcast when I'm around other males too. I tell my wife I think I was born 150 yrs too late! Keep up the good work.


Blog Archive